“The difficulties in life do not have to be unbearable. It’s how we look at them.”- French Monk Brother Lawrence (Nicholas Herman 1614-1691)

It’s 96 degrees. Back from a 3 mile slog through the sandy foothills. Every step is a labor on those hills, but I don’t believe there is a better way to build the legs and lungs and burn the belly than hiking up and down the same sandy .3 mile stretch of foothill. It’s a steep climb straight up the hill and the ground is soft like volleyball court sand. The trail is usually only used by horses or any insane person that uses it as a workout hill. The soft sand is a relief on the descent. Zero stress on the joints and over far too quick considering how hard it is to climb. Moving is moving. Exercise is exercise. Never underestimate a vigorous three mile walk uphill.

Anyways, I came across this notebook yesterday that contained my live thoughts from the Masters. I’m typing it up here for your enjoyment. Just a dose of sports to curb the workday boredom.

The following was written between April 12th- 13th, 2025.

• Introduction

61 degrees, cloudy with a 15-17mph southwest wind. A nearly full moon shines for brief moments between dense clouds. White blossoms on the chocolate barked tree out front glow each time the moon finds its strength. A slight glimmer of light in the east. “Heart Reel” in my ears. Peaceful morning. Peace in my heart and mind. 5:19AM

• The Masters (Saturday)

The average male’s sphincter relaxes just a little bit more on Masters weekend. Personally, I am just now ‘coming to’ after a two hour nap. Golf is a brilliantly relaxing sport.

It’s certainly no “Omega Ball.” I watched about four minutes of it out of curiosity today and found it quite the mind-numbing experience. Camera work and angles were poor for the round field, three goal version of soccer. Three teams compete simultaneously and the ball ends up OB far too often. Just odd.

But the Masters–now that’s the perfect backdrop for a nap. Let the sphincter loosen, let that tension fade, and let the calming tones of CBS crew melt away the day.

Currently on this day, Rory is in the lead by 4. I’m sure that matters to some. Not me. I’m here for the nap.

You know, golf has something, at least one damn good thing that is unique to their sport in 2025. Fans get to celebrate big moments as they happen. There isn’t a VAR, replay review, or challenges. Either the ball drops in the hole, or it doesn’t. If it does then the crowd gets to erupt in unison.

Unfortunately, this is ancient history in every other major sport…Bryson just dropped an unbelievable putt on 18 for birdie. The crowd erupted on cue in full voice. Well done golf. Don’t change.

Tomorrow afternoon should be interesting. Rory up two on Bryson who is up two on ‘CO-CO’ (Corey Connors) who is up two on several others. Will Rory hold on to this one? Some say it’s destiny. Destiny like a child. Latavia Roberson’s Destiny’s Child. Exceptional.

Peroni and Craig for supper. I’m starved and so is the fuzzy.

(my wife’s nickname for Corey Connors is ‘CO CO’ and how I wrote it. She’s called him that for seven years or so.)

• The Masters (Sunday)

7:17 AM sunny and 39 degrees. Well, sunny for now. The sun is rising into a dense eastern cloud bank. West across the valley, the sky is full of popcorn puffs resting innocently against a Rosemary Clooney blue-eyed sky. Birds sing their songs, dogs bark and jingle on their walks. Sprite and frisky with tails high in the air. The fuzzy grumbles, then rumbles, and now perches quietly on her bed. Beautiful, peaceful, love-filled morning.

“I want a big pile of blueberry pancakes” were the first words out of my mouth as my eyes opened. (Of course, referencing Fabian in “Pulp Fiction” and of course, I did not give in to that urge)

I’ve loved the Masters as long as I’ve been alive. I still enjoy it to this day. It’s one of the very few sporting events that still look, feel, and sound the same. Never change.

It’s a beautiful Augusta, GA day. Bryson (-10) is chasing Rory (-12) who is teeing off in seconds. How’s that sphincter?

12:30 MST Rory and Bryson both wearing a shade of navy shirt and similar off-white trousers. Sharp dressed golfers. Rory donning the infamous Nike swoosh on his hat and shirt. Rory blasted a drive but unlucky to find a steep embankment on a fairway bunker. Bryson a country mile left into the pines. It’s on…Peroni in hand.

Rory’s ball rolled halfway down a 45 degree slope and is rested on the Spruce Pine ground quartz bunker. Difficult is an understatement….both on the green putting for par.

12:43 52 degrees and sunny here. 68 degrees and 28 percent humidity in Augusta. Oh my days that is a perfect Georgia day….and OH MY DAYS! Rory just three putt doubled (Double bogey). It might be a beautiful beyond beautiful day in Augusta, but storm clouds are looming over the islander from Ireland like a Poplar Bluff afternoon. Augusta may have never looked more perfect on a Sunday.

High desert fresh air pouring through the open balcony door and kitchen window. My ‘short faced bear’ napping on the deck. Peace in our hearts…Rory in the bunker again. Yippers.

A few slices of fresh cut strawberries from Irvine, CA balance this Peroni like olive oil on fresh greens. “Oh, I could drink a lot of those.” Maybe Prue Leith.

• Soccer Break

-Como hosted Torino in Serie A earlier today. Let’s add Como to the list of stadiums with the most scenic view. Lavell Edwards doesn’t hold a candle to this one. Stunning to watch on TV. Also in soccer, Real Madrid’s Mbappe received a straight red card for a gruesome and malicious assault on his opponents upper shin. Nasty look. Terrible for the game. I’m calling for an 8-10 game suspension and thirty day jail sentence. It looked malicious with ill-intent and there is zero place for that in “the beautuful game.”

Bryson birdie -11, Rory -10.

Breathe in that fresh north breeze, smell the culinary creations the precious, the woman, the ‘amazing’ creates. Peace in Sandy.

• Hockey Break

In St. Louis, Western Michigan stomped Boston U 6-2 in the Frozen Four Final. Hockey players are sensational to watch. Agility and maneuverability switching forward, to lateral, to reverse on skates with their head on a swivel and their third eye on the puck. It’s action packed but replay reviews kill it. Respect for hockey players abilities.

• Back to Golf

Rory with a ten foot birdie chance on 3…and he rolls it inside the right lip. We got ourselves a tied ball game folks...Well shit, Bryson just missed his five footer for par. Rory up one. 1:17

Bryson bogey -9, Rory birdie -12. What a swing since Rory’s double on the first. Bryson keeps playing like me and yanking everything left.

Fresh earthy chopped mushrooms and parmesan fill the kitchen…Let’s talk Louis.

Louis Ooie that is. 2012 Masters. His Albatross in one of my favorite Masters makes of all time. What a legend. Tiger on 16, Phil on 13, Bubba on 10 (also in 2012) all come to mind. Louis may be my favorite. Rory playing from the shade on 7.

Rory’s second shot on 7 was beyond elite. Tiger Woods-esque recoil. What a bomb over the pines that he landed within six feet. Rory is earning this.

• Back Nine

The fuzzy is snoring, my eyes are heavy. Rory in control with a four shot lead and a ten foot birdie chance on 10.

“Hey ma. How big is that lady singing?”

“What?”

“Is the broad fat or what?”

“She looks like your Aunt Marvette.”

“Oh yeah. Fat lady’s singing alright.”

Picture Bernthal in Scorses’s “Wolf of Wall Street.” Also, Rory made the birdie putt. This is all over for my money. Justin Rose is four back and on a roll, but Rory is calm and precise. Bryson fading…Amen Corner up next.

Bryson doubled 11. Adios. Rose and Rory bogey. Bunch of amateurs.

I mean that is what my scorecard used to look like. Of course, I was playing on Audobon Park’s concrete fairways and sand covered greens. These lads are on holy ground in front of thousands. 3:16MST The phone rings…

My sweet great aunt from MS. She’s still energetic and ambitious in her self-admitted “old age.” She was watching the Masters just like me. Tides rise and fall.

Rory rises everyone else falls. Rose and the Swede Ludvig are four back. Rose strikes on 16! The Englishman fires a laser beam into a tight pin placement on the right. 6 feet for birdie. Seconds later, Rory chips into the creek on 13. He had a 65 yard shot and missed it by at least 20 yards. Not to say it again, but that is what a guy like me would’ve done. Potential paradigm shift incoming…Rory doubled -11 and Rose birdied 16.

3:39 MST One quick breath of fresh mountain air and a splash of sunshine and I’m back on the stormy grey three person couch in the living room. Peroni’s still cooling the soul. The Masters–it really is “unlike any other.”

Rory, Rosie, Ludvig, Scottie, and Preed (Patrick Reed) within four shots of each other down the stretch. Justin will be the first to finish. Can he post -12?

Another Rory bogey! This one by the smallest of fractions, and Rosie missed a 3 1/2 footer for par! Ludvig birdied. Three golfers at -10. Buckle up bucko!

It’s hard not to root for Rory or Rosie over the 25 year old Swede. He’ll have his day. So, England or Ireland? Two island boys from the north. Both faces worn and haggard from the endless wind and sun. Faces that show their age. Furrowed brows from focus and pain. This is truly a mentally grueling game. Rory on for eagle at 15! 4:02

Rosie with a birdie on 18 and in the clubhouse at -11 after shooting a 66 today. He’s always been one of my favorites. Classy guy. We shared a brief greeting one Sunday morning in Memphis. We were in between hole 4 and 5. He had been playing speed golf and about two over for the day. Sharp eyes and a subtle grin with an atom of irony. Justin Rose is one of the good ones.

Now, who can post -12? Rory -11 and in the 17th fairway. Strike! Rory thumps it within four feet where he’ll have a birdie putt for the lead. You know, Rory has plenty of Tiger type moments and resembles him in some ways. The sport needs a Tiger.

Trout, slaw, and chilled noodle salad for dinner. Peroni’s washing it all down and a lemon rice krispy treat for dessert. In a few minutes that is.

Rory birdied 17 and is the solo leader by one shot on the 18th tee. Four average golf shots win the jacket.

“Just don’t screw up.” “Thanks.” Livingston Dell to Linus Caldwell in “Oceans 11.”

Rory sucking on an emerald green hard candy. For luck? For an omen? For the jacket? He’s manifesting the green…Rory or Rose. Either will be a proper champion.

• Storytime

-You know, Bill Burr was in my dream last night. We were chatting at some busy place in passing.

Bill: Oh really? And what do you do?

Me: I’m a writer.

Bill: Oh really? What have you written?

Me: Well, different things but not published or anything.

Bill: Nah, nah, nah, nah. What have you written? What have you finished?

My nervousness increased and confidence tanked.

Me: Well not much really.

Bill: Look, you’re not a writer unless you finish the story. Ok? Anyone can rattle on about anything. My advice–take seven hours and finish at least one thing you’ve written. That’s all you need.”

Me: Really? Seven hours?

Bill: Yeah, Good luck down the road.

And then snap awake with sweat soaking through my pillow…

Rory is 5 1/2 feet from completing this Masters story. I appreciate the subconscious challenge from the Bill Burr projection.

• The Masters Conclusion

Rory…Oh my days….Rory missed. He shot a 73 and finished tied with Rose at -11. It’s playoff time. Justin has been hitting shots on the range. I say let’s play all 18 again. I’d watch.

Feast smashed. Trout went down like butter and spicy slaw awakened my sinus cavity.

Rosie and Rory both find the fairway with Rory twenty yards further. The Augusta sun is fading quickly but still high over the valley from my chair on the deck. Rose with a good shot and a 10-12 foot birdie putt. Rory with an excellent shot and 3 1/2 feet from the pin…Rosie missed. Rory didn’t. In dramatic fashion, Rory finished his story today. He’s won them all at this point.

This is a major moment, “major moment,” for Rory. A grand moment in a major tournament. Rory completes his Grand Slam. His countryman Shane Lowry with a bear hug…what a day. I’m off for the next seven hours to finish a book as Bill Burr suggested. Peroni and Craig are invited.

The End.

• Back to the Present

Hope it was a fun time. Thank you for reading.

Find the Humor and Keep on Movin’

Whit W.