“I didn’t come all the way to North Dakota to bird watch.”- Chubbs
In the May/ June issue of “Ducks Unlimited,” Sam Jefferies shares the story of his dad jumping too early on a dry-field hunt in North Dakota. While a group of 20-30 Mallards were seemingly about to commit, a lone Greenhead fell picturesquely into frame and was hovering over the decoys directly in front of Chubbs. He didn’t say word one to the others in the blind; he simply pulled up at fired. And again. And again. Three shots, but the duck continued to rise. Well, not for long, the rest of the group hidden in the North Dakota grain field raised their weapons in frustration and delivered a volley of steel that was inescapable for the Mallard duck. Obviously, the 20-30 ducks circling abandoned all thought of landing in their field after the reckless barrage.
If you have been on a duck hunt, you probably know that there were some sore feelings within the group towards Chubbs for ‘jumping the gun’ and shooting too soon. Ruch did the same to me back in 2014. He was a teen, so it was frustrating but forgivable. Like Chubbs and his buddies ended up doing on that day, we left with plenty of meat on each strap and laughs were had soon after.
I saved the clipping of the story and came across it as I was rummaging through a scattered box labeled ‘office stuff.’ Who knows how it happened, but in kind of a weird way, the story reminded me of the Cal at Oregon St game on August 30 at 10:30 EST.
The Golden Bears will travel North 500 miles on Interstate 5 on August 30 to face the Beavers in Corvallis live on ESPN. With it being such a late kick, I’m sure they’ll just drive up that day. It’s an eight-hour drive and an 8:30 kick, so there’s plenty of time if they leave, lattes in hand by 9 A.M.
I love a latte. Now would be just fine. Coffee break incoming soon.
That’ll leave the Bears, cramped and constipated as they might be at that point, getting off the bus by 5 with three hours to get ready. Plenty of time to slam a ZOA, hit the nasal spray, and do some light calisthenics like any self-respecting Berkeley man would do.
As far as the game goes. The Bears lose by one.
After the game, the team will take the half mile shuttle to the Hilton Garden Inn Corvallis, where they might just sleep three hours before the wake-up call for the bus at 5:45 A.M. Cramped, probably still constipated and now sleep deprived, the Golden Bears get back on Interstate 5 and drive South to Berkely. ‘Neurogum’ smacking, shaker bottles rattling, and pent-up farts fumigating the entire road home…
Or, Cal will hop on the Boeing 767-300 it charters from Delta and fly, land, and unload in just about two hours. Either way, the game prediction stays the same. Cal loses by 1.
“Friends, inside someone is weaving on that massive loom, and singing so the floor resounds. Perhaps a woman, or a goddess. Let us call her.”
Oh, but they did ‘call to her–and Oh, she was certainly not what she seemed. This band of men ‘jumped the gun’ because of a false impression, and I fear this might be the case for more than a few regarding the Cal at Oregon St game.
Spoiler alert, in case someone has been asleep for roughly three thousand years or missed Homer’s “The Odyssey,” the group of men are fed a concoction of barley, cheese, honey, wine, and potent drugs, and while flying higher than a North Dakota Mallard, they get turned into pigs by a witch. “Only in body, voice, and hair; their minds remained the same.”
Not Eurylochus. He was the only one who remained outside because he suspected “trickery.” Oregon St -2.5 looks mighty tricky to me, and I can see this being a number that might lead one to ‘jump the gun.’ This is a ‘play the Visitors’ or ‘don’t play at all’ games. If you want to ‘jump the gun,’ do it innocently like Chubbs. He was just a man on a hunt, ‘not a bird watch.’
Nearly every duck hunter including myself has done what poor ol’ Chubbs did. I say nearly because there is one, I know very well that would never do such a thing. Only one. A true ‘suspecting of trickery’ Eurylochus type but cross him with Billy Strings and John Muir. Relaxed, respectful, driven, and most importantly, patient. Anonymity is his game. Sometimes I wonder, ‘does such a person even exist?’ The answer is yes. Just choose to be it. Act accordingly.
Cal loses to Oregon St by 1.
Find the Humor and Keep on Movin’
Whit W.